Oh, be vulnerable, Andrea. Trust people, Andrea. What a crock of horse shit. I feel like the biggest fool ever. So I go online specificially to see if that kid is on and he is and I'm all excited to talk to him. He doesn't IM me so I finally IM him and tell him about how my finger was bleeding like crazy from the can of spaghettios. And he goes, "im on IM and I have a ton of people over so later." and he just signs off. it made me cry. lame, right? i felt like the biggest fool ever. here i was thinking this kid would actually want to talk to me, want to hang out with me and he's like, ya bye. am i overreacting? i dont know. it was just like a smack in the face. i understand why he signed off, im not unreasonable, i just felt rejected and stupid for actually letting myself start to like him. so now i want to bitch smack him upside the head and tell him to never flirt with me again. i mean the last time we worked together he was all flirty and called me hot and other stuff too. and i reciprocated. what the hell is that? do guys just dick around like that with everyone? is it about power? hes on right now and i want to be like, come talk to me later, i have something to tell you. i hate fucking relationships!!!! it took a lot for me to try this one out. it motivated me to check back in a little bit more, which i guess is the upside. cause i am totally stoked about homecoming this weekend. it took me forever to figure out what to wear. not really, but i want to be comfy and hot. ya, now that i think of it, hot doesnt really go with what i brought. but i am bringing mario kart cause i want to play with rachel. i hope she misses me too and is excited to see me. and ill get to drive with kelly. and ill get to see my wee kaye. and kurtzy will be there. ya, thats pretty much it for people i want to see. well, i will probably hack with the tim.
ok i just talked to my mom and explained to her how i am feeling. she gave good advice. i should talk to jordan but im special so i dont need to reveal everything about myself and the way i felt last night is my own issue to a certain degree. but this retarded flirting and bull shit manipulation game has got to go. she said he's abnormal. hahaha. "ive never heard of a guy who acts like he likes a girl and pursues her a lot and then doesnt barely talk to her." i feel a lot better just talking to her about it. ahhhhh....so now i will not think about him. last night when i was imagining me telling him off and putting him in his place i got frustrated and started singing my abc's but in french. hahahaha. okey dokey. i feel better. time for a washa then worky then knoxy!!! weee!! big kahuna...ill big your kahuna right out of here....