i think i peed a little

well today is a lovely day off and that is good because i have a lot of little wee whatnots to do here and there. mainly, though, i need to get some serious writing done. i met with renae yesterday for the first time in like 3 weeks. by the way, i misunderstood dr. elliot. i have a panic disorder withOUT the fear of public places, not with. haha. yea for me! but anyway, i learned a lot of new things yesterday and am trying to think about myself objectively. here's what i mean. um...oh its so hard for me to explain. i need to think and put it into words! but basically. if you see someone doing something over and over again you assume there is a reason behind their patterned behavior. there is an area in my life that i have neglected to apply that template to, if that makes sense. and she raised a lot of interesting questions for me to think about too. like i have extremely high expectations of people (which basically comes back to me having high or unrealistic expectations of myself). and if i have that type of perfectionistic (for lack of a better word) outlook, then why is it so difficult for me to confront people i love, or disagree with someone? i have some ideas but like i said, i need to write about it. although yesterday at work i was feeling angry at sandra and lorreen told me to call her immediately otherwise it would drive me nuts. and i believed her because..well, its true, but also because she knows exactly what im talking about. so i called sandra. YEA FOR ME! and i told her how i felt and it was a good conversation. i know that may sound lame ass but it was an important thing to me.
i got a ticket to see harry potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok enough i have to get a move on, dawgs.