#1.) Read this, it's funny: http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/10906740.htm
Some people think I'm superficial because I don't want to marry a bald man and if I see he's bald he's getting a goodbye from me.
Screw those people.

#2). Back to Dave Dickinsheets. Seriously. DICKINSHEETS!!! Not Dichencheetze of Dickanshees or something like that. I mean DICK IN SHEETS! If I could draw on here and show you what it looks like and why it's so funny I would, but we a) don't have a scanner, and b) I think you can picture it yourself.

DICKINSHEETS!