And Andrea came tumbling after....

Well tonight I finally beat Zelda. It wasn't too hard at all actually. It was really easy, the last level I mean. I also saw Luther, an ok movie. On the spectrum where "ok" is in the middle, and "super" and "shit" are on the ends, it would probably be close to "ok" but on the "shit" side, if that makes sense. I don't feel like going into it.

I am continuing to love and adore The Brothers K. This man's writing is amazing. I both was laughing and in tears last night reading it. There is this one part about this poor girl with a cleft pallet, whose parents believe that it is her "cross" to bear, so they will not allow doctors to operate. The main character's family members discuss what this all means. One says that as Christians we must help her bare her cross (or bear it as I like to imagine). But another son responds by asking what the hell does this possibly mean? That they are to beat everyone up for laughing at this girl? That they are to flirt with her to make her feel better? Or just say "we must help her bare her cross" because it's the easiest solution without having to help in any way. Finally, the last son interjects by saying that Jesus was crucified by his enemies and not by Mary and Joseph. His cross wasn't an ornament but a murder weapon. Damn, I was crying. Just thinking of that girl, Vera, and her stupid dumb-fuck parents, who, like this kid says, either really don't understand Jesus, or are terribly evil. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate injustices like that! And this whole case in the news about the woman who has been a vegetable for the past 15 years and whose husband finally ordered the feeding tube to be removed. All these Republican politicians making it their personal goal to save her because they refuse to be anything but pro-life. What a game. (I could more clearly explain the correlation between the two but I don't want to because tangents are better than tying up loose ends.)

I walked Jasmine down this main Illinois path today. There weren't many people so I let her off the leash and she ran and ran. I listened to Lhasa de Sela. In sum, the album is between "ok" and "super." Anyway, it was awesome to walk alone and watch Jasmine having the time of her life. It was good to be a witness of that.

Hollie is being interviewed tomorrow for her church. They wanted her to come with a prepared outline on what she'd like to talk about. "Do you think they'd mind eight pages?" she asked at dinner. Mom wanted me to pray again at dinner and I said no, again. I hate that. I just knew she'd ask too. I don't mind them praying at all, but I just can't do it. If I'm not praying at all I don't want to spew out some random, thankful prayer, even though I am definitely thankful for the food and for my mom who made it, etc. etc. It just doesn't feel right.

I had the most awful thought the other night. Hollie was out at a bar on St. Patty's Day and I was thinking about what would happen if she died. I realized I wouldn't have a friend in the world. It made me more angry than sad actually.
I hate it when people tell me that I'm their goddamn best friend, or even their "good" friend because they fucking disappoint the hell out of me. I don't want any best friends because when you think you actually need them for once they couldn't give a rat's fucking ass. I would have to say when I left Knox I left believing I had four or five very close friends. What a pile of Jurassic Park dinosaur "that's one big pile of shit" shit. I don't want anyone to be in my life right now and I'm not jsut saying that because I'm feeling wordy, or because...

Period Time's a comin'. I can tell in my attitude and in my boobs. Man, I don't know what to say. Um.

My dad told me tonight that this addition that they were planning on (before the estimate arrived), included a jaquoozzi (ya, I'm not even going to pretend like I know how to spell that word). Too bad. I sure do love to sit in a ton of water, although I personally believe that we should fix the minor problem of being able to see into the basement through the slats of wood in the diningroom floor when the lights are on.
Ya, I just feel like shit right now so I'm going to stop this. Posse out.