apricots make you shit

i dyed my hair red. like i used to in high school. its way too dark. so im feeling yucky about boys right now. i never have issues with them and i certainly don't want one around. there are moments when i want some lovin but other than that, see ya. this 30yr old music teacher keeps coming in. like 20 times a day. and he got me apricots and he said im the funniest woman in our town and i said thanks and he said, no thank you. he tells me im gorgeous and he winked at me and asked me when i get off work. boo urns. im going to have to be a cold bitch i guess and hopefully he'll get the hint. i like to be nice to people and talk to our customers but i guess youve gotta be careful how nice you are. i dont flirt really at all with anyone but some men take being nice as lets make babies. it jsut makes me feel poopy cause i do not want to be like piss off but i might have to. its sucks rejecting someone. maybe he'll leave me alone. yes, i will ignore him from now on and will throw out my apricots. the good thing about getting hit on a lot after years of awkwardness and rejection is that i dont give a shit what people think cause i think im hot and i feel great about myself and i think that shows too. i just dont feel odd in my skin anymore. and although my worth as a female does not come from other people, it is nice to be complimented and feel like you stick out because of all of who you are, not just how you look.
there's this other new kid at work and he's a foxy fox. i havent figured him out yet though. i would consider dating him but man, just thinking about dating makes me cringe and feel panicky. what an odd paradox. in high school when i was sad all i wanted was a boyfriend. now all i want is a few good girl friends and no boyfriend. and i really dont feel like ill want one any time soon. i just havent had that desire for a person. i liked ian but not really as a person. there was no friendship there. and i loved lucas but i just wasnt attracted to him. i liked luke but that's cause he tickled my pickle. but not in forever, maybe even ever, have i wanted to date someone because i cared about them. well, i think maybe i did with steve, but that was a fucked up relationship because i didnt feel equal to him and was never really attracked to him consistently. maybe im just not meant to be a wife. ew weird. me as a wife. theres a title im not into. mrs. andrea. gross. so ya, ill just keep being hot and sexy for me and be happy and alone forever. sounds good to me.