Ode to Keith's "Bible Gateway"

So my bahvior last night got me thinking about what Christian guilt really is. I felt just that last night: guilty. At lunch I didn't want to say "guilty" because when a Christian says they feel guilty I usually want to punch them and tell them they don't know what they are talking about and are more concerned with rules and Christian culture. Also, I want to punch non-Christians when they say that they don't like Christians because God forces guilt onto them. Anyway, I felt guilty. I had potty mouth and was vulgar. I think of those verses in Ephesians 5:
I wish I could paste....um, ya I can paste the whole thing. It's my blog:

1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.
8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

So me feeling guilty I think comes from a desire to speak to one another with psalms. Or rather how I interpret that, to speak to one another honestly and focused on what really matters-our relationship with God and each other. Sometimes I get so excited and want to make people laugh and essentially like me, so I say things that are absolutely outrageous. And I came home last night and felt almost fake and kinda dirty. People aren't going to see God in my life if I am making jokes about vaginas. And why do I want people to see God in my life? Well, I think because it's so important to me and I want to know what's really important to other people. I really miss talking about him. This verse says to be an imitator of God. Gladly...he kicks ass. And feeling guilty is a feeling I had because I was not being authentic or a person I am proud of. If a person cried because they were being honest about brokenness I would feel more fulfilled any day than to hear someone laugh about my period stories.

I don't know what the point of writing this is. Other than me just writing how I was feeling and to remind myself that I suck sometimes and have shit to work out.