Well hello hello. Here I am sitting at a Starbucks wi-fi spot. Wearing a wife-beater and a turquois bra. Pretty bitchin. This laptop just happened to be on the desk in the apt. I am sitting and I am hoping she won't mind me taking it a block to check email and remain part of the world I love. So I have been here, what? This is my third day? Today is....um...Monday! I got here Friday. So it's my third full day. Oh great, 4 little girls. I have fucking pre-teens. So let me tell you about DC:

DC is split up into lots of little neighborhoods. I'm not sure how Chicago is sectioned off but DC is cut up and each neighborhood has its own characteristics. Like if you live in Anacostia, you will probably get shot. And if you live in Glover Park/Fox Hall (where I unfortunately am) you will feel like you're in Beverly Hills. And if you're in DuPont Circle you will think you're in la la Gay Land. And if you're in Adam's Morgan you will think you're in Frat Land. The good thing is that the buses and the Metro fucking rule. And you can pretty much walk wherever you want. I myself have walked probably at least 6 or 7 hours in the past 2 days. Today it's flip flops and internet. I am pooped. The area I want to live in (which I walked all around yesterday) is called Mt. Pleasant. Hahahaha. Adam's Morgan is pretty kick ass during the day (I went there yesterday too) because the frat kids aren't out and you can enjoy your lunch at a nice little Mediterranean restaraunt. I will show pics of Mt. Pleasant. It looks very European with brick houses all connected on a hilly and narrow street. Trees and flowers everywhere. The other reason I love it is cause the neigborhood is very diverse. Mostly Hispanic, but there is a fairly large African American popluation and white population. It's nice too cause a few blocks away from the houses is a busy street with a ton to do. Well, not really. But you are close to Adam's Morgan if you want to drink, etc. The bad thing is that if I live there I will need a car. And I have no cars. Ok...what else?

I was supposed to have called my aunt back to hang out with them but I am afraid to. I am afraid I will have a panic attack and die. I am afraid that will happen if I get an interview too. That is why I wasn't very excited to come here in the first place. I was afraid I would have to confront my anxiety and fears head on in a way I haven't had to in a long time. I'm in a boring comfort zone at home and I don't have to do anything uncomfortable at all. But here, it's all new and I have no one to lean on. Oh ya, Jesus... Well, He sure isn't the best advice giver. I did get a Warren Wierserbe or whatever book on Hebrews. Coleman and Amy are listening to Chandler's sermons on Hebrews and in the past year I have shied away from the NT since I think Jesus isn't really who people say he is. So I wanted to do a study on Jesus and since I heard Hebrews is the shit (Hollie said it's awesome too) I got this book. And low and behold the title is "Be Confident," and it's all about faith. What I learned so far from the study (the first study) is that this book is written to second-generation believers who are being seduced by false teachers. And since they have doubt and since they neglect what they were taught by the dead first generation, they need a little chastening. Hot diggity, sounds like me a lot. I don't think chastening is such a bad thing at all.

So what does the rest of this week hold for me? Some touristy-whatnots. I've visited pretty much all the areas that I could consider living in. So now I think it's off to some museums. The shitty thing about that is that I want someone with me. It sucks running ideas by yourself. And if I have a question about a painting or notice something about it who the crap am I supposed to tell? It's a great thing to be moved and have experiences with yourself, like if I were to go to the Holocaust museum. But I don't think life is meant to be lived alone in, you know? Of course you know, everyone fucking knows that. I was thinking about this on the bus the other day. I am SO used to feeling lonely and only having me in my life. It's not unfamiliar at all. Like in Scotland I was alone a bit. And definitely when I was in DC the last time. And in college I did quite a bit alone. And then DEFINITELY when I came back from Scotland and had no friends and all I was doing was puzzles and model pirate boats (HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL!!!). It's just a very familiar feeling to me. It's a huge part of me. And you know what else? I fucking hate hate hate it. I like being an introvert and I love having alone time. But too much tends to be incredibly unhealthy for me because I become too introspective and too selfish. Can you blame me for being self-absorbed when I am always alone? It makes tons of sense I think. I think that also explains why I'm so damn weird. I really look forward to being married because I will always have someone to share things with. To never have to take buses alone or go to museums alone. Or to watch funny movies alone. By the way, I think I am going to see the da winky code all by myself. I just have to find when and where it's showing and then I will go see it by my lonesome. I read a review, sounds like pure shit. Oh well, good movie to see alone then, right? I should gain 200 pounds first and where a cat t-shirt and then go. That would be better, right? No. Not at all.

So I'm going to try to find a jobber and hit up some museums. And contine to drink ass loads of coffee. Bye bye

ps-heather send me the address of your blog since when i click on your name your blog link is not there. what the hell? so i cant read your news.