well. im finally starting to meet people in the area. went to a party last night. i felt a little out of place but did meet some very cool people. of course one was drunk out of his mind. i was supposed to go to church with this guy this morning but i was awake all last night thinking and freaking out. at one point i just starting counting to not think. at another point i had to tell myself to shut the hell up because i was being too analytical and stupid. i texted the guy at 7:30 and told him i wasnt going to go. shitty, right? right. so i was talking to hollie about it and she told me that was a dumb thing to do so we called nate and nate told me that was a dumb thing to do and now im going to call him. nates like be sincere but dont tell him you're a psycho.
anyway, being there last night made me miss my friends. for the first time in a while. meeting people, especially guys, is really rough. so i sent rachel an email and i sent kurtzy an email and im going to send berto an email. and im going to mount a plane and visit dianers. maybe on her christmas break. oo! hiking in the snowy mountains, eh diane? i also realized that deep down im still this incredibly awkward gothic teenager, even though i now accept and love myself and look different on the outside. im truly a nerd though. let's just be honest here. i like putting model pirate boats together. i love playing video games in my jammies. i love reading. i love being an introvert. i do love my few friends even though i have blown them off recently, and id do pretty much anything for them.
ok so this party was a house warming party and i told the kid that i was going to buy him this vine-type plant. and he asked what it looked like and im like, have you ever seen the fear factor where they have to eat horse rectum? it looks like horse rectum...kind of like my shirt! (cause my shirt had these weird ruffle-dealies on them. so he's like, so thats your horse rectum shirt? oh holy hell. ooops. HAHAHAHA. ya like i wrote before, i think im too much.but thats pretty funny, right? i thought so. screw everyone. ok hollie keeps bugging me to finish harry potter and like my friends, there is really nothing i wouldnt do for harry potter...i mean..um...hollie...riiiight....