addie ate my leftover bou munch. i'll drop kick and/or punt her down the stairs. BOO!

Well how de do. Jamelyn just sent me an email from Costa Rica asking me if a house had been dropped on me. I guess it's about time to write a little something something. Well, let me just start off by saying I am plum sick of these workers being here all the freaking time. Well, I guess that's not so bad, but what is bad is the electric, the water, or the heat being shut off. That, and the giant hole in my wall being worked on as we speak. They're cool though I guess. I should remember to always shower first thing when I can otherwise I miss my chance. Well, this is my myspace: http://www.myspace.com/29994020 I don't know why I dicked around with it but I did. I've been online now for 2 hours, which is super long for me. You would think I would be working on my resume or something. But I didn't. Hey, I didn't shop either!

But the job thing is definitely wearing on me. I woke up this morning and that was the first thing I thought about. I don't want to work for Sandra anymore. I don't want to work in Wheaton. And I don't want to work for nothing. Renea told me I should write a letter to my panic attacks or to my anxiety. She said to consider it like a "friend," or rather something that I know and that visits me. I know it sounds lame but it's kind of interesting and it may be insightful to write it a letter. It'll probably be like, Dear Panic, I don't like you at all. Go away. Love, Andrea. Good, eh? I can't wait for it to be warm out. Andrea likes the sun (Andie not me), but all I want is some fucking warmth. To be able to walk around in shorts and tank tops with no bra. Ahhh... Sweet sweet shelf bra. Oh mother hubbard, I have this terrible meeting tonight. Speaking of hating Caribou...mock MIT meetings. How lame is this going to be?! I wish I could get out of it but NO! I have to be the top SS who gets to go with Sandra to all her shit meetings. Project Runway is tonight, though and I do love Project Runway. Man, I wish the plumber would go home. I want to get into my bed and do some word puzzles.

Ok, well I have proven that a house has not falled on me and killed me so I am going to go. If anyway knows of a killer job that would be perfect for me let me know. The IJM job is still up for grabs. I bet you anything I will end up in DC anyway. All the good places are there. Jamelyn, seriously, if you want to move to DC together and get jobs, I would LOVE that. I don't want to go by myself and I would be willing to wait for you to come home and go with you. We could live in Adam's Morgan in some posh loft. I'm too scared to go alone. Seattle would be cool too. World Vision is in Seattle.

i have become a complete recluse. i got two texts today. one from coleman asking where the hell i was and one from heather wanting to say that she hopes i am well. where the hell was i last week? i have watched so much crap tv. thats where i have been. in front of my tv stuffing my big fat face. i guess i am just not feeling motivated to do anything. im stressed (that word is way overused) about getting a new job. i feel kinda disconnected too. im just not doing what im supposed to be doing and i have no idea what the hell that is. everyday i change my mind. today on the train home i was thinking about keith, a man who comes into work who fell out of a tree when he was young and has severe brain damage. he calls me Foul Dog Mom because addie eats her own shit and farts all the time. i love keith. he hugs me when he sees me and when he leaves and he says "love..you....love..you....love...you...." i give him shit all the time. he has this three-wheel bike and it has pictures of jesus all over it and verses, so pretty much everyone in wheaton knows who he is. today i told him if i was ever driving hed have to watch out cause id run him over. he started laughing and told me id have to catch him first. he also told me that my mint hot chocolate that i made for him tasted like cowlacktaid (or however you spell it). so anyway i was thinking maybe i should work with adults who have brain damage or who are handicapped in some way. this job is going nowhere and i am going nowhere in it. i feel so dissatisfied and too lazy to even do anything about it. but i am looking everyday. thats all i can do pretty much. i fucking hate how society tells us we have to be happy! what the hell?! who says we have to be "happy?" and what the hell is that anyway? its fake. who do you know who is happy? my boobins are about to freeze off in here so bye.

ok these heating guys are craking me up. this kid who's probably my age or a little younger is named joe. eric is the older boss guy. eric is speaking upstairs to joe who is in the basement. joe keeps yelling damnit and banging things and going ARGH and eric is laughing at him and calling him sunshine and whatnot. poor joe is working so hard and eric is up here watching him and laughing. the plumbers and framers AGAIN ditched my dad so my plan to stay at jordans all day fell through again. so i dropped hollie off at the train station and got some nasty starbucks burnt light roast (should have gotten a laddie) and here i am. its like no matter where i go there they are working. i am on the puter looking for jobbers and they are about 10 feet away working through this heating vent thing. im convinced addie is going to fall through one of these days and die. she is getting so old and grey. she sleeps all day and if you try and move her she groans like an old lady. gross, joe just hawked a loogie and spat and i have no idea where. gross. you know i havent taken a shower in a few days. i opened yesterday with megan. it was fun but we were too slow for some dumb reason. we usually earn like 3 or 4 people on sundays but we only earned 2. we've had a good week though. i want a new jobber still and am looking right now. my parents arent too thrilled about me going to vancouver. apparently i have no money. so i pay $250 a month in one loan and now my citibank loans are coming back again. another 5 bones. or is it g's. yes, 5 homie gees. but i want to go so bad. ive been reading the bible a lot lately and i like it although im stil not convinced its entirely true. like i reread the ananias and saphiara story and luke writes that they fell down and died and everyone was afraid. well no shit if the dudes were murdered. it doesnt say that god struck them down for lying. my mom said that for them to be killed would be way out of character for that to have happened. like, there were so many miracles going on at the time and everyone was filled with the HS and the HS this and the HS that, that for them to be killed would be out of the ordinary. but i dunno still. i talked to bob allen about it. he's like, ya that totally didnt happen. i watched beauty and the geek last night. there was a marathon. both my favorites got kicked off and this asshole arrogant guy beat them. stupid asshole. ok i better get going here. no one is going to read this anyway since there are no paragraph

breaks.

good bye.